what I would tell an infertile woman

Over the last couple weeks, I have been wondering what I would tell the Kristin of four years ago about what it would be like to face infertility. What do I wish I had known? But that’s kind of a stupid question because of course I wouldn’t have learned what I’ve learned if I had known what […]

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LorrenFebruary 5, 2015 - 2:16 pm

<3 You are such a good example to me of staying strong through hard things! I love your beautiful words. You are so strong and awesome at so many of these things you list (#6 especially).

KatieFebruary 5, 2015 - 6:23 pm

You are AMAZING.

SarahFebruary 5, 2015 - 6:52 pm

Tears Tears Tears. This is such a powerful post, and such a beautiful example of pain, faith, and purpose. I have some friends struggling with the same thing, and I am so grateful you have spoken from your heart so that I can share it with them. Bless you, friend!

AlexisFebruary 5, 2015 - 9:05 pm

Great essay, Kristin! You are so great.

ValerieFebruary 5, 2015 - 9:48 pm

Beautifully written piece of your heart and soul…and great advice. Sending you some virtual love and hugs. xo

WhitneyFebruary 6, 2015 - 6:35 am

I love this. You are an inspiration to me and I’m so grateful you allow yourself to be vulnerable and share these things because they strengthen and change me. Love you!

Barbara OylerFebruary 6, 2015 - 3:32 pm

I can’t express how moved I was by your post. Your insight is amazing. So much of it can be used for many other disappointments as well. Thank you for opening your heart to others.

LauraFebruary 6, 2015 - 8:07 pm

I love everything you said especially, “We are bigger than our challenges.” What wonderful lessons you’ve learned and I’m so grateful you can share your journey with others. I wish I was better with my words like you are so I could explain eloquently how amazing you are, how much you are loved and what an impact you have had (and will continue to make) on my life.

Jeannine EbornFebruary 17, 2015 - 9:24 am

Hi, Kitten, Maybe one way to come to terms with the current challenges is to share your wisdom far and wide so others who are not as articulate and thoughtful–and wise–can benefit from what you are learning, @ Michelle started a website called Hope for Widows shortly after Chris died that reaches literally thousands, and Jon, who is always sharing his life’s struggles in hopes of reaching others who are now finding peace and love in their lives rather than living in fear and self doubt. Your writings are so profound and have such a tender impact on me, I know others are waiting to hear you. Next project—write a book.

We love you,


infertility & acceptance

Recently, as I thought about the years I’ve spent wanting and waiting for a baby, I discovered an unexpected correlation between my experience with infertility and the five stages of grief people talk about with death. Maybe that sounds a little dramatic, but it’s actually a surprisingly good fit to describe my experience of loss, […]

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Faith ConwellJanuary 5, 2017 - 4:57 pm

Hi Kristin, this message came right on time for me and really hit home. After 4 years of struggling with infertility, after finding my loving and wonderful husbands diagnosis (azoospermia aka no sperm) and the only way we would be able to have children is through medical help(which we cannot afford), I, too, have decided to make peace with the life God has created for us. I have a great, loving, patient husband, great friends, family, a goddaughter, and neices & nephew that I love and know love me. I’m grateful for that. This is where our journey ends, but for some reason I’m at peace. No more doctors. No more explaining why we don’t have children. I accept that becoming parents is not part of our story. There’s a quiet peace in surrendering to what God’s will is for your life. I think it will still be fulfilling and blessed. I hope you have many days filled with love, joy, and peace Kristin. Just know you are not alone :) Take care.

the books that have made me a better person

I was just going over the list of books I’ve read this year and I have to say, since I started making reading more of a priority a couple years ago, I have been totally and completely changed. I’ve read over fifty (!) books so far this year and so many of them changed something about […]

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LorrenDecember 12, 2014 - 9:38 pm

This is my favorite. Can’t wait to dig into the ones i haven’t read yet — they are all going on my goodreads right now!

engage in the wrestle

This weekend I went to a lecture given by Sheri Dew at Claremont Graduate University. When I heard that she would be speaking on women and the priesthood, I knew it was something I needed to attend. I have read her book on the subject and enjoyed it, but was interested to hear what else […]

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Aubrey HOctober 12, 2014 - 7:37 pm

Oh I love this, and needed to hear it. The part you highlighted about our most personal questions not being answered intentionally makes perfect sense. I’ve heard before (and thought of it over and over) that we are a vessel– full of stuff, or emotions and eye need to pour out to God in prayer and completely empty out before He can fill us back up. This post reminded me of that and I need to get back into better prayer.

AlexisOctober 12, 2014 - 8:42 pm

Kristin! This is so great! This summer I indexed a bunch of scholarly articles at the Church History Library and it got me so amped up that I started researching graduate programs on Women’s Studies within Mormonism. In my dreams I’m getting my PhD at Claremont. Anyway, SO COOL you live close enough to attend lectures there! I’m really jealous!

One of my biggest questions right now about women in the Church is exactly what you asked President Dew — what are attributes that we, as women, have inherited from Heavenly Mother?? I love her answer and it really resonates with what I’ve been thinking and what I’ve been trying to tap into. Outside of what she mentioned, courage and nurturing, I think a large part of the divine feminine identity is the inherent wisdom that women possess (though, of course, men possess wisdom, too). I link this back to Proverbs 8 where Wisdom is personified and commonly believed to be one of the manifestations of Heavenly Mother within scripture.

Anyway, this is all really inspiring, exciting, and interesting stuff. Love reading your thoughts! You are awesome!

what seems wrong is actually the most right

I imagine that each of us has something we want and do not have. Something that would make us happy, improve our lives, or give us the sense of purpose or security or peace we desperately long for. Maybe we didn’t get something we should have, or we made a wrong choice which continues to […]

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Whitney HenrieAugust 22, 2014 - 4:13 pm

In the ensign this month is an article called Act Upon This Land as if for years. It is so good! “The Lord has placed currents of divine influence in your life that would lead you along the individual plan he would have you fulfill. Seek through the spirit to identify it. Align yourself with it. Choose willingly to use your agency to follow it. ” The whole article is amazing. Seems to happen a lot that what you post has been on my mind before I read it. You are a great writer and an amazing person. Love you!

JennieAugust 22, 2014 - 9:49 pm

I absolutely love this, and have honestly been thinking about this so much lately. Thank you! Perfectly expressed. <3

Aubrey HAugust 23, 2014 - 7:39 am

You have a way if identifying and putting into words what myself+others may or may not recognize and know how to interpret.

I often think, I agreed to this trial when I was in Heaven, so why fight it now? And that is when the peace comes. This makes so much sense–you just put into greater meaning what I only saw the surface of.

Keep living the way you are, and sharing your insights, they are always very timely :)

MonicaAugust 25, 2014 - 1:15 pm

You always write so beautifully, Kristin! Love this post and love the thoughts that it provoked!

LindsayAugust 26, 2014 - 2:47 pm

This is beautifully articulated, Kristin. I’m so glad that you’re beginning to find peace and healing. You are a beautiful person, deserving of every blessing Heavenly Father has in store for you, which are many. Thank you for sharing your strength and giving me a perspective that I need for the dreams that are “missing” from my life currently. “Trust in The Lord…He will direct thy path.” Love you!